#the winner of harry potter puberty
OCTOBER IS NEXT WEEK
OCTOBER IS THIS WEEK
OCTOBER IS TOMORROW
do atheists say oh my god
yep. we say it any time we hear something that’s unbelievable.
so when i was 8 i was in an episode of iCarly and even though i’m 16 now and i have a pixie cut my friends still tell everyone that i was in iCarly.
i pushed another child off a bench and stole her sandwich this is my legacy
"In the case of good books, the point is not to see how many of them you can get through, but rather how many can get through to you." (Mortimer J. Adler)
women: being a woman is hard
men: I thikn youre forgetting something: it is also hard to be a man. just letting you know that you forgot to mention that when you were talking about being a woman
Love these dorks
Don’t forget we have to wake up Green Day tomorrow.
Ok just a reminder to everyone: If you’re planning on tweeting billie joe armstrong “wake up” or something tomorrow, DON’T. The song is about his father’s death and so it’s really personal and treating it like a joke isn’t the right thing to do. Plus he’s asked so many times for people to stop and no one listens so yeah. Please don’t do that.
Dress like a leader.
except FUCK YOU WOMEN CAN WEAR PANTS IF THEY WANT
*You can substitute pants (at the same level of formality/casualness) in any of these situations.
But this is real good for reference.
babies screaming when you’re out shopping
My anaconda will consider it
My anaconda has, upon review of the information presented with it’s partners, decided that it, in fact, does not. My anaconda apologizes for any inconvenience this may cause and thanks you for your time.
Pizza place at my university offers a “stoner pie” complete with pepperoni, bacon, extra cheese, mozzarella sticks, and French fries.
Get the pepperoni outta here and we good money
ill take the pepporoni